NOT Milwaukee's Best

You know those people who are just naturally phenomenal at bar games? They can throw darts blindfolded, effortlessly shoot pool from behind their backs and snap their wrists with precise fervor during a game of foosball. They may or may not be excellent at sports outside of the bar, but once they walk in anyplace with a neon Miller sign in the window, they shine.


I am not one of those people. I never have been, and I'm fairly certain with any amount of practice I never will be. And that's fine with me - I'm happy to stand nearby with a drink in hand as friends throw, shoot or play a round. But last night I was feeling lucky. Last night, I thought, would be the night I finally did not make a fool of myself while playing pool.


Turns out, lady luck was not on my side, after all.

The above is an example of what you don't want the table to look like at the end of the game if you are solids. Yikes.

And to make matters worse, I don't think Eric was playing too seriously the whole night. It could've been a lot uglier, sadly enough.

While goofing around, he coined the "Bazooka shot."

The agony of defeat:

After the massacre (three games in a row), we left Scaffidi's and made our way closer to Brady Street, where we stopped at the Garage for one last beer before heading home. I tend to forget about the Garage, but always enjoy it while we're there. I love the interior, which is lined with small trees and strands of white Christmas lights everywhere. 


Another thing that's fun at the Garage is their $1 "Grab bag." Simply hand over a dollar and they'll give you a brown paper bag with a "mystery can" inside. Given that it's a dollar every time, you always know you're not going to be getting a high-quality beer, but it's kind of fun to open your bag and discover what you'll be choking down for the next 10 minutes.


I'm afraid Eric was the loser at this game, as his mystery beer happened to be Natural Ice. 

And I'm afraid I didn't fair much better, with getting slammed in the face by none other than the city's namesake, the BEAST:

As I'm clearly illustrating here, the name of this beer is not exactly the best representation of the city. And it's fairly misleading to slap "premium" anywhere on that label. In fact, I'm pretty sure every other beer brewed in the city of Milwaukee is morw premium than Milwaukee's Best. By far.

Sigh... 

Though I was humiliated once again by my non-existent pool skills, and forced to gulp down the nasty, nasty Beast, I actually had a good time last night. Low key, full of laughs and home by 10:45. Just the way I like it.

Lucky Sprouts + Bacon

I am a lucky girl.


I am a lucky girl because I live with a boy who enjoys cooking.
I am a lucky girl because I live with a boy who not only enjoys cooking, but is actually pretty good at it.
I am a lucky girl because I live with a boy who not only enjoys cooking, is actually pretty good at it, but also makes sure the things he cooks for me are healthy.


Because, while I may be a lucky girl, my metabolism is not so lucky - and if it were up to me every meal would consist of red-velvet cupcakes and sprinkles.... or cookies crumbled on top of ice cream. Girls like me need a little health in their life, so every once in a while she can justify eating half a jar of peanut butter. With a spoon. Topped with chocolate chips. 


One of Eric's favorite sides has always been Brussels sprouts. Yes, he is one of those people who claims he "llooooooovvess" Brussels sprouts. He'd prepare them on the stovetop with a little water, and we'd eat them alongside our chicken breasts. Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate that he makes me these healthy meals, but the Brussels sprouts weren't doing anything for me. They were slightly soggy and a little bland. They needed to be kicked up. 


And boy, has Eric ever kicked them up.

These Brussels sprouts are a testament to the idea that bacon makes everything better. I cannot tell you how amazing they are. Roasted, crispy on the outside and incredibly savory. Honestly, the bowl above stands alone as a meal for me. All Eric does is cut up some fresh Brussels sprouts, sprinkle with a bit of olive oil, a little salt a pinch of pepper and then adds three strips of cut-up bacon. They get roasted at 400 degrees for about 35 minutes, and let me tell you, the smell taunts you for that entire 35 minutes.


And don't let anyone tell you bacon is not healthy. Sure, eight strips of bacon is not healthy, but three strips of bacon split between two people is not going to stop your heart. And if you're thinking of substituting turkey bacon - DON'T. Turkey bacon is not meat. It is processed slurry masked as health food. Go with the real stuff, I promise it's worth it.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go back to dreaming about the whole barbecue chicken that is currently roasting in the slow cooker for dinner tonight.


Did I mention I'm a lucky girl? 

Perfect meatloaf weather

In last week's Onion, a headline caught my eye: "Perfect Soup Weather Coming." I can't help but laugh every time I think of that headline, because how many of us have uttered something exactly like that? "Ooohhh... it's cold. This is perfect soup weather." "Mmmm... soup would be so good on a day like today." The Onion is so good at pinpointing the dorky little cliches we all say, and that's why it's (usually) universally hysterical.


Well, the kind of weather that's hit us so brutally in Wisconsin this week really is perfect soup weather. But if you're craving something a little more substantial, it's also perfect meatloaf weather.

No... Not that Meat Loaf. But really, come to think of it, any kind of weather is good Meat Loaf weather, right?

Anyway......


I had an unexplainable craving for meatloaf the other day, and when I suggested we have that for dinner, Eric said he'd been thinking of meatloaf too! I guess you could say I "Took the words right out of [his] mouth..." Or, you know, you could not say that. 


I'll stop now.


So.... the meatloaf. I wanted something a bit healthy, so I opted for a turkey meatloaf, stuffed to the brim with healthy veggies. Digging through my "Recipes that make me say YUM" book (yes... I really made a cover sheet with that title on it), I found just what I was looking for: Kicked up Meatloaf, originally posted by Eat, Live Run. I drooled while looking through the ingredient list. I had to get to work.


First, you chop up a large onion and start sauteing 'til they get soft and translucent.

Then, add in some diced carrots and minced garlic. Keep sauteing!

After a couple of minutes, add in some chopped mushrooms.

Mmmm.... Sizzling veggies.

When the mushrooms get nice and juicy, take the pan off the heat and transfer everything into a large bowl. Then, add in some beans (next time I make this I think I'll mash the black beans first), ketchup, salt, pepper and Worcestershire.

Mix it all up!

Then, mix together some milk and panko bread crumbs.

When the crumbs absorb the milk (about three minutes), add it to the veggies mixture. THEN, add in the egg and ground turkey! Try your best to leave your vanity outside of the kitchen - it's best to mix in the ground turkey with your hands. Trust me, it's not that horrible.

Once everything's all mixed together, transfer to a greased loaf pan.

Then, whip up your glaze of ketchup, maple syrup and balsamic vinegar, and brush it all over the top.

Finally, pop it in the oven at 400 degrees for 55 minutes. 

At about 30 minutes, your kitchen should smell like Grandma's house. You'll win to dig in right then, but Grandma would tell you you have to wait, so listen to her. Wait until a meat thermometer reaches 165 degrees. Just do it.

Once it hits 165, you're good to go! Pull it out of the oven, let it cool for a spell, and slice in!

The result is tender, slightly sweet and soul-warming. And, dare I say, perfect for a snowy day? 

We may or may not have taken down the entire loaf that night.

Kicked Up Turkey Meatloaf - adapted from Eat, Live, Run

1 lb lean ground turkey

1 cup cooked black beans (or black or green lentils)

1 large carrot, diced

1 large onion, diced (I had a red onion on hand, but use whichever you prefer!)

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups mushrooms, chopped

1 1/2 tsp worcestershire sauce

1/4 cup ketchup

1 tsp salt

1/2 T olive oil

1/4th tsp black pepper

3/4 cup panko breadcrumbs

1/3 cup milk

1 egg, slightly beaten

glaze:

2 T ketchup

1 T pure maple syrup

1 T balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 400. Grease a loaf pan, and set aside.

Heat your olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the diced onions until soft, about five minutes. Add in carrot and garlic, continue sauteing for about two minutes. Then add in the chopped mushroom and continue cooking until soft, another five minutes. Remove from heat, and transfer to a large bowl. Add in mashed beans (or cooked lentils!), salt, pepper worcestershire and ketchup. Mix it all up.

Combine milk and panko crumbs in a small bowl and let crumbs absorb the milk. Add to the veggies. Then add ground turkey and a slightly-beaten eggs. Mix it all in with your hands. Once mixed, transfer to the greased pan and smooth out the top.

Combine ingredients for the glaze and spread over the loaf. Bake for 55 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 165 degrees.

In last week's Onion, a headline caught my eye: "Perfect Soup Weather Coming." I can't help but laugh every time I think of that headline, because how many of us have uttered something exactly like that? "Ooohhh... it's cold. This is perfect soup weather." "Mmmm... soup would be so good on a day like today." The Onion is so good at pinpointing the dorky little cliches we all say, and that's why it's (usually) universally hysterical.


Well, the kind of weather that's hit us so brutally in Wisconsin this week really is perfect soup weather. But if you're craving something a little more substantial, it's also perfect meatloaf weather.

No... Not that Meat Loaf. But really, come to think of it, any kind of weather is good Meat Loaf weather, right?

Anyway......


I had an unexplainable craving for meatloaf the other day, and when I suggested we have that for dinner, Eric said he'd been thinking of meatloaf too! I guess you could say I "Took the words right out of [his] mouth..." Or, you know, you could not say that. 


I'll stop now.


So.... the meatloaf. I wanted something a bit healthy, so I opted for a turkey meatloaf, stuffed to the brim with healthy veggies. Digging through my "Recipes that make me say YUM" book (yes... I really made a cover sheet with that title on it), I found just what I was looking for: Kicked up Meatloaf, originally posted by Eat, Live Run. I drooled while looking through the ingredient list. I had to get to work.


First, you chop up a large onion and start sauteing 'til they get soft and translucent.

Then, add in some diced carrots and minced garlic. Keep sauteing!

After a couple of minutes, add in some chopped mushrooms.

Mmmm.... Sizzling veggies.

When the mushrooms get nice and juicy, take the pan off the heat and transfer everything into a large bowl. Then, add in some beans (next time I make this I think I'll mash the black beans first), ketchup, salt, pepper and Worcestershire.

Mix it all up!

Then, mix together some milk and panko bread crumbs.

When the crumbs absorb the milk (about three minutes), add it to the veggies mixture. THEN, add in the egg and ground turkey! Try your best to leave your vanity outside of the kitchen - it's best to mix in the ground turkey with your hands. Trust me, it's not that horrible.

Once everything's all mixed together, transfer to a greased loaf pan.

Then, whip up your glaze of ketchup, maple syrup and balsamic vinegar, and brush it all over the top.

Finally, pop it in the oven at 400 degrees for 55 minutes. 

At about 30 minutes, your kitchen should smell like Grandma's house. You'll win to dig in right then, but Grandma would tell you you have to wait, so listen to her. Wait until a meat thermometer reaches 165 degrees. Just do it.

Once it hits 165, you're good to go! Pull it out of the oven, let it cool for a spell, and slice in!

The result is tender, slightly sweet and soul-warming. And, dare I say, perfect for a snowy day? 

We may or may not have taken down the entire loaf that night.

Kicked Up Turkey Meatloaf - adapted from Eat, Live, Run

1 lb lean ground turkey

1 cup cooked black beans (or black or green lentils)

1 large carrot, diced

1 large onion, diced (I had a red onion on hand, but use whichever you prefer!)

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups mushrooms, chopped

1 1/2 tsp worcestershire sauce

1/4 cup ketchup

1 tsp salt

1/2 T olive oil

1/4th tsp black pepper

3/4 cup panko breadcrumbs

1/3 cup milk

1 egg, slightly beaten

glaze:

2 T ketchup

1 T pure maple syrup

1 T balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 400. Grease a loaf pan, and set aside.

Heat your olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the diced onions until soft, about five minutes. Add in carrot and garlic, continue sauteing for about two minutes. Then add in the chopped mushroom and continue cooking until soft, another five minutes. Remove from heat, and transfer to a large bowl. Add in mashed beans (or cooked lentils!), salt, pepper worcestershire and ketchup. Mix it all up.

Combine milk and panko crumbs in a small bowl and let crumbs absorb the milk. Add to the veggies. Then add ground turkey and a slightly-beaten eggs. Mix it all in with your hands. Once mixed, transfer to the greased pan and smooth out the top.

Combine ingredients for the glaze and spread over the loaf. Bake for 55 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 165 degrees.

From Kitchen Mishap to Kitchen "Ooohhhh yeah"

For the first time in a few weeks, this weekend has been very low-key. We're trying to save a little money, so we decided to stay in all weekend. So how did I spend my low-key Saturday? Well, obviously Alterra was in the cards. Then, I went on my first run since New Year's Eve, and let's just say it was humbling. I actually did a bit better than I thought I would after a nearly two-month hiatus, but with half-marathon training coming up in just two weeks, I need to build some base mileage. Yesterday, I ran 4.35 miles in 38 minutes, which was an 8:54 minute-per-mile average - not horrible, but I've got to remember to take it easy at first - I'm trying to ease back into running so the Shin-Splint Fairy doesn't visit me like she did last spring. This morning, my body is all "Whhaaa?? What was this nonsense you put me through?" and is a bit sore all over. It's definitely not used to running right now!


Saturday night consisted of buying groceries (it was surprisingly a packed house at 6:30), including a fantastically gourmet dinner: a Deluxe Tombstone frozen pizza, with sausage, green peppers, mushrooms and onions. The pizza was devoured rather quickly while we watched a couple episodes of Season Four of "Friday Night Lights." (Gosh, I love this show - I'm so sad it's over!)

First rule of eating frozen pizza: Hot sauce is a necessity. 

For dessert, I had an example of how a kitchen mishap can easily transform into a kitchen "Ooohhh yeah." A few days ago, I whipped up what I thought was going to be the most delicious chocolate-chip-pretzel-peanut-butter blondies EVER, but they turned out..... different. I don't know what happened with my dough, but it was crumbly, and after baking, the blondies were more like one gigantic square of crunchy cookie. Very strange. I got a little upset, but decided there's no use in crying over crumbly blondies, and tried to make the best of it. I crumbled and chunked up what was in the pan, stuck it in a freezer bag, and deemed it the perfect topping for vanilla ice cream. 

And oh my gosh, was it EVER. It was like a big, crumbled cowboy cookie over ice cream. The only thing that would have made it better would be if the crumbs and chunks were warm.

Sometimes I get a little perfectionist in the kitchen. I want everything to turn out beautiful and flawless, but even for the most seasoned baker, that just doesn't always happen. It's in these instances where it's important to gather ourselves (OK, myself), tell ourselves we are NOT failures, and find a way to make these kitchen mishaps into something positive. And boy, did this ever turn out positive. In fact, I kind of want to flub up more recipes for an excuse to top a dessert with another dessert.

Just remember: chocolate-chip cookies were originally a mistake in the kitchen where they were first made!

How do you turn kitchen disasters into kitchen masterpieces? 

Pinterest

If you're anything like me, you're constantly bookmarking, starring and favoriting things that stand out to you on the interwebs. After years of bookmarking pages and starring posts in my Google Reader, the whole thing is a disorganized mess. If I can't find anything I've bookmarked, what's the point in even doing so?


That's where Pinterest comes in. 


I first discovered Pinterest through one of my favorite blogs (one that gets starred a lot), My Favorite Things. The program lets you simply drag and drop (or "pin") photos you love from different web sites, and build a virtual inspiration board on your own Pinterest page. You can see a sampling of everything I've pinned above (uhhh... completely girly, much?) You can organize your boards into categories (home decor, craft ideas, cute animals, etc.), and even better: you're redirected to the original source page when you click on the photo.


I've only had Pinterest for a few days now, but I am obsessed! My board is growing quickly (Mostly thanks to Design*Sponge and Style Me Pretty), and I'm stumbling across some fun inspiration. I have a feeling my whole Internet-browsing world is going to change for the better.


Right now, you have to apply to be able to join Pinterest, but if they granted me membership, they must not be ultra exclusive. But if you'd like to join, I just so happen to have five membership invites to hand out, so just drop me an e-mail and I'll send the first five people an invite!


Get pinning, y'all!

SO FINE

OK... One last Valentine's-Day-themed post (didn't I say I wasn't even into the holiday at all?). But this one was just too cute to pass up.


We all love candy hearts with words, right? Sure, they may taste a little chalky, and the phrases may be somewhat cheesy (Remember "FAX ME?" - Still makes me laugh!). But they are the quintessential Valentine's-Day candy and are synonymous with the holiday. So, you can imagine my delight when going through the drive-thru coffee shop last weekend, they topped my lid with a candy-heart sticker! Not only did I find it adorable, but also loved the idea of putting a sticker on top of the sippy-part of the lid (technical terms) so it won't spill out. Genius!


Or should I say, "SO FINE."

Gifts + Goodies

Look what I got for Valentine's Day! :)

Squee! To anyone who enjoys food blogs, this is such a fantastic gift. A cookbook from the blog goddess herself, The Pioneer Woman. I adore her blog, laugh at almost every tweet she makes and just respect her through and through. Everything she makes I want to gobble up right away, and I'm really envious of her beautiful food photography. I can't wait to crack open this book and make some of her fantastic recipes.

Come to think of it, my whole night revolved around big names in the food blog world. I've been following Bakerella for quite some time now, and am enamored with her adorable cake pops. The woman can craft just about anything out of cake, chocolate and candy and it always turns out so insanely cute! I've been wanting to try my hand at cake balls for a while, so I thought they'd be a perfect excuse for a Valentine's Day treat.

Cake balls take a few steps and some time to make, but all the steps are incredibly easy. Especially because Bakerella's recipe calls for boxed cake mix and canned frosting - a lazy girl's dream come true!

Essentially, you just bake the cake following the box directions, let it cool, crumble it up and mix with a can of frosting. Once that's all mixed up, you simply roll the batter into balls, chill for a while, then dip in chocolate and decorate. 

Easy as pie! Or... err.... easy as cake balls.

I made the batter on Sunday, but just didn't have the energy for all the rolling and dipping  then, so I finished up the job last night. I had to get it done before Valentine's Day was over so I could use these adorable sprinkles without feeling like a heart-obsessed Geekasaurus Rex. For some added variety, I used both white and semi-sweet chocolate to coat the cake balls.

If you'd like to treat cake balls yourself, here is Bakerella's recipe for the red-velvet variety (mmm..... red velvet....). While you're there, be sure to check out her amazing creativity by checking out all her cake pop varieties!

Did you bake anything special for Valentine's Day? Or did someone bake something special for you?

Happy Valentine's Day... if that's your thing!

[Source.]

I'm not the biggest Valentine's Day fan, really. In fact, for years I used to purposely wear black every Valentine's Day, because apparently I thought that was funny/cool? I don't go out of my way to wear black now, but I just think it's a manufactured holiday that puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on people - both in relationships and not in relationships. 

But a lot of people really love Valentine's Day, and that's totally fine, too! It's a fun excuse to give gifts and get all gussied up and go out to a nice dinner. If I were super lovey-dovey and had a ton of cash to blow, I would go ALL out on Valentine's Day. 

Luckily, Eric feels the same way I do about Valentine's Day, so neither of us make a big deal  out of it. It's not like I don't love love. Or that we don't love each other. We do - just not in the form of boxes of chocolates. And we don't completely ignore it - usually we just exchange a card and maybe a small gift. Last year, Eric got me a subscription to Women's Health, which I LOVE and look forward to every month. So what did Eric get this year? A subscription to Men's Health! I know... real original, right? But he occasionally buys the magazine himself, and always wonders (out loud) why he doesn't just subscribe. So I did it for him!

And while I don't believe in going all-out for the holiday itself, I DO agree with making cute red and pink treats for the holiday to pass out to coworkers. I also agree with adorable, heart-shaped sprinkles. Which is why tonight I am making some very special, very delicious Valentine's-themed goodies. Hey, I can't be all bah-humbug about the ENTIRE holiday, right? 

And if you're wondering if I baked that insanely wicked-awesome heart cake above, I answer you with a resounding NO. It looks amazing, but just a little too tedious and daring for me. But if you're looking for a challenge, check out the full tutorial from I Am Baker here.

My new favorite kitchen tool

I never thought I could feel so strongly for an inanimate object, but in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I think I'm in love.


You see, back before Christmas, as I was putting together my wish list I came across these beautifully-crafted state-shaped cutting/serving boards at AHeirloom's Etsy shop (don't get me started on how in love I am with Etsy, altogether). I toggled back and forth between asking for one in the shape of my home state (Ohio), or my adopted state (Wisconsin). And then I got the idea that I could serve a cheese platter on the Wisconsin-shaped board, and it was all over. I mean, how absolutely perfect is that? Even better, I could get it personalized to have a heart shape carved over the site of Milwaukee - adorable! I was obsessed with the idea.


And then my mom informed me that apparently everyone else on Earth was putting these boards on their Christmas lists too, and the shop said they wouldn't be able to make any more until after the new year. I was a little bummed, but I understood and went on with my life. I actually kind of forgot about it until a big package arrived yesterday afternoon and inside was my Wisconsin cutting board! I was so incredibly surprised and excited. Thank you, Mom! It's beautiful - I almost don't want to use it! It would actually look really cool hanging on a wall somewhere in my apartment. But I can't get over the thought of using it a cheese platter - it's just too cute!

I'm thinking I need to have people over just for an excuse to use it - appetizer and wine party, anyone?

Steel-Cut Oatmeal

As a card-carrying member of the "I eat oatmeal for breakfast every single morning of my life" club, it's safe to say I've toyed around with making it my own. Standard is plain oats with fresh or frozen sliced strawberries, chia seeds and a small sprinkling of Splenda. Sometimes I sub in blueberries. Sometimes it's peaches! And if I'm feeling really saucy, I'll slap a glob of peanut butter in there and mix in some cranberries or raisins. What can I say, I'm a wildcard by nature.


However, until this morning I'd never tried steel-cut oats. I've seen them all around the food-blog world and have been intrigued, but sat on making them myself for quite some time. You see, I need something fast in the morning - popping oats and water in the microwave for 2-3 minutes is pushing it enough, for me. Steel-cut oats require either an overnight soak in the fridge, and then 10 minutes of cooking in the morning, or 40 total minutes all at once in order to make sure they're cooked through.


Some of us don't have time for that. Some of us have morning television to watch.


But this morning I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4:30, just WIDE awake. I've never been more energized in the morning! So, like any completely normal, not-crazy-at-all person would do, I hopped on the bike trainer for a pre-dawn workout and still had plenty of time to spare. Plenty of time, this morning, for steel-cut oats.


So here's how it went down:


I boiled about 2 1/3 cups of water, then added 2/3 cup of oats and turned the heat down to medium-low.

I then proceeded to blow-dry my hair, and remembered to stir the oats about four-five times while cooking for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, I added 1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. 8-10 minutes later, my oats were done! I portioned half of the oats in a bowl, and half went in the fridge for later.

To the oats, I added the usual: sliced strawberries, chia seeds and a sprinkling of Splenda. And the result? Sssoooooo good. I can't stop thinking about this breakfast! The steel-cut oats were had a nutty flavor and an insanely rich, creamy but chewy texture. It reminded me of creamy barley, in a way. I absolutely loved it! Nutritionally, steel-cut oats are pretty much on par with regular rolled oats, but they are in a more natural state - and we all know the less processing in any food, the better!

So my consensus is these steel-cut oats are definitely worth the extra effort they require. I'm planning on making a large batch on Sundays so all I'll have to do in the morning is reheat, soften with a little almond milk and go! 

Leaving me ample time to spend with my delicious, fulling breakfast and my very special morning-time buddies: Matt, Meredith, Ann and Al.

Have you tried steel-cut oats before? What is your favorite go-to breakfast food?

Here I go again...

[Source.]

EEK! I am now officially registered for the Wisconsin Half Marathon, taking place May 7th! My first-ever half marathon was last September, in Chicago. While I came in at under two hours, it wasn't exactly the goal time I was looking for. So, on May 7th, I'll be going for a 2011 goal AND a half-marathon PR: 13.1 in less than 1:55:00, baby!

I wasn't as nervous this time around when registering as I was for my first half marathon, and hopefully I'll have less butterflies all around for this go at it. BUT, as I haven't been keeping up with running at all this winter, we'll see just how difficult the first few weeks of training will be.... 

GULP.




[Edit: OH.EM.GEE. I just saw the 2011 Finisher's Medal on the official race web site. "There is a reason we call it the big, metal, cheese medal!" Love it!]

Up a tree

As I've mentioned before, Mr. Pancakes is ornery. He knows exactly what he is not supposed to do, like jumping on the coffee table/TV stand/console table/anything that has an object lying on it that he could knock down. He knows he will get attention from it, even if it is negative attention, if he does these things. So what does he do? He does them. We've tried putting double-sided tape on the tables, and that worked for a while, but tape doesn't phase him now. He gets squirted with a water bottle when he jumps on the coffee table, but I think he's starting to enjoy that. There's no training that cat, so we thought we'd distract him. Distract him with something tall, fun and laced with catnip.

Eric came home with a floor-to-ceiling cat tree the other day, which we promptly assembled and waited for Mr. Pancakes to happily bound upon. Except.... it never happened. Turns out, our cat is deathly afraid of heights. He wouldn't even go on the first level, about a foot and a half off the floor, on the first day. We tried to put him on the top level and he made the most gutteral, sickly noise I've ever heard, just begging to be brought back down to earth. The feline is not normal. 

After a few days, he has hopped up on the first level on his own a few times, where I think he likes it, but I'm fairly certain we just threw money away with this purchase. Mr. Pancakes is happier with his favorite toy ever, a rubber band, than with this cat tree.

Of course, when he realizes the camera is pointed at him, he turns on the charm.

Maybe he just realizes he is getting older and a little more "fluffy" around the belly, and tree climbing is no longer conducive to his lifestyle (kind of reminds me of "The Giving Tree" story.... but, you know, with a cat and some carpeted plywood.) 

Maybe he just needs a really big rubber band. And THEN he'll be happy.

Sigh....