It's been a long time coming.
I love this space. I love that it's always here if I need an outlet. If I want to share what's been consuming my days. If I need to break some news. For the last few years, that's been home design and DIY. It's been fun. It's kept me busy. It's been a motivator. But I guess, for the past few months, it hasn't been driving me. It's not my number-one reason for being. Not the driving force for me doing. It's just another thing I'm interested in the sea of things that interest me. But it's not the only thing.
I don't want to abandon this space, and I think the only way for me to keep it going is to broaden the focus. I may lose some of you because of this, and I totally understand. I've probably lost plenty already with all the radio silence. I understand. But now this space is going to be for me. No guilt if I feel like it doesn't fit a theme. No worry if I miss a week here or there. No pressure to be on trend. In style. Constantly working inside another life where I'm constantly working.
So, here it comes. I'm just going to let this space be about me. I'll never lie and tell you I'm not a narcissist. You've got to be, just a little bit, to run a blog about yourself. So excuse me while I change direction and start using this space as a way to share whatever the hell I want. Will there be a DIY here and there? You betcha. Will I share home style and design trends I love? Uh huh. But I'm also going to talk about myself—what's going on in my life, where I travel, what I'm spending my free time doing, what my thoughts are on headlines...I'm hoping to share a little creative fiction I want to get around to. I want this space to call to me, not sucker me into guilt.
It'll be freewheeling. Genuine. Spastic. Sporadic. But it'll be a space that makes me feel better. It'll let me be me, instead of a persona I sometimes feel trapped inside. I'm hoping it will free me to post more. I'm hoping it will be a place you continue enjoying.
But if not, don't worry. At least it'll be for me.
One year ago today, I woke up at 3:30 a.m., never really fell back to sleep, got out of bed, and then did all the necessary things you do on the morning before you get married to your favorite person in the world.
When I think about the fact that we've been married for a year, I want to say it feels like just yesterday, but, honestly, it seems like we've been married for years...and I mean that in the best way possible. A year goes by so quickly, but so much happens within it. There have been a million laughs, new jobs (for both of us), big plans and fun adventures.
I realize, aside from a quick "Oh hey, we got married!" recap post just after the big day, I never really shared much about the day itself...which is pretty ridiculous because I spent a lot of time capturing the projects, thoughts and moments before the wedding itself here. I'm sorry if I left you hanging, but the wedding was kind of the kicker in much of this blog's hiatus last year. I'd burnt myself out. I worked very hard on making the wedding perfect—every little detail, every song, so many of the words—I painstakingly attempted to put my own touch on every piece of the weekend, in my own sort of wedding-day dream world. But on the day itself I learned—I realized—that there was absolutely no way I would be able to control everything on my own. I let go, stopped sweating the small stuff, and in turn had the single best, most fun, most special day of my entire life. Not everything went perfectly, but it was exactly the day I dreamed we'd have. It was a dream, in every sense of the word (except, you know...the literal sense. 'Cause it really happened. And I have the pictures to prove it.)
Here's what happened on that day one year ago (thank you times a THOUSAND to Amber and Rob of Look Here Photography...they captured they day perfectly and were a blast to work with. They're something special, both behind and without the camera).
Our first look took place a few hours before the ceremony in our backyard, just under the pink-and-white blossoms of the little apple tree out back. I love that we have photos in and around our home, and having that moment take place in our backyard was pretty special. There were tears.
Our neighbors came out as we were getting ready to take off for photos and we had to stop to say hi. Their 5-year-old daughter, Hannah, really wanted to see us (P.S. she has a gigantic crush on Eric, so I think she was a little sad to see him get married off that day...).
My friend Sarah hand-painted this rock for us and it sits out in our garden to this day. I love it!
Before the ceremony, we went to a local bar that has mini-bowling in the back. Koz's is one of our favorite places, so unique, fun and kitschy as all get out. It was the perfect place to hang out and get some fun photos before the ceremony. I mean, there's a taxidermy lion up there, so that's pretty much the most romantic backdrop you can think to have for your wedding day.
No wedding jitters whatsoever as we bowled a few rounds before the nuptials.
Pretty much, I had the most beautiful bridal party ever.
Did y'know I love colors? These bridesmaids dresses were handmade for the girls on this day.
Getting married on the grass in spring isn't exactly the friendliest to girls in heels. My bridesmaids stood on these plywood hearts during the ceremony so they wouldn't sink into the ground.
These vows. Thought they'd be the hardest part of the wedding planning, but they poured out of me in about 20 minutes on one random day in February before the wedding.
My pap and my husband.
My favorite picture of my and my dad. Both the tiniest bit nervous.
The most laughs a couple could ever have on their wedding day.
My pap, a retired minister, performed the ceremony for us. It was the most important detail of the day for me, and it was so special to have him up there.
I spent hours and hours on those "YAY!" flags, just hoping at least one person would wave theirs when we were pronounced husband and wife. I was already elated when it was official, but when I turned around and saw nearly everyone waving their flags at the end of the ceremony, I was about the happiest girl imaginable. I couldn't wipe that huge smile off my face.
Some brides say the don't eat a thing on their wedding day. With this menu, I filled up my plate somethin' fierce, and almost ate it all.
I couldn't believe how this bare-bones room transformed that day. So pretty!
I found this vintage Old Maid cards at a rummage sale the summer before our wedding. They were the perfect table numbers—a little quirky, fun and colorful.
Our customized cake topper. Of course Mr. Pancakes and Lieu Lieu had to be up there, too.
Our guestbook were blank Jenga tiles. I love that whenever we want to play Jenga at home, we'll have all these wonderful hand-written notes to look back on.
Well, why wouldn't we have a popcorn bar at our wedding?
In lieu of a huge cake, we had a dessert table filled with all the favorite home-baked desserts from the women in our family, and family friends.
Throughout the space, we sprinkled these little "Did You Know?" facts, letting in our guests on some of the fun facts of our relationship to that point.
These s'more pops are SO simple! I made them the day before the wedding. Just marshmallows dippe din chocolate, coated in graham cracker crumbs. I could eat 40 in one sitting.
I laid a Fujifilm Instax camera out and left a ntoe to tell our guest to snap away! They took pics and hung them up on the rope. A couple weeks later, I looked at the stack of instant pics and laughed and smiled the whole way through. It was so fun!
When we got back our weddings pictures I about fell on the floor seeing our ring pics displayed this way. SO F'ING CUTE. Amber and Rob were absolute superstars that entire weekend. I can't imagine having anyone else capture the day!
We ate, there were toasts....and then, there was dancing. LOTS. OF. DANCING.
Also, there was champagne-chugging on the floor. If you didn't have a bottle of champagne of your own on the dance floor, you weren't celebrating hard enough.
The couple that air guitars together, stays together.
We had fun.